So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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