somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
