Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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