I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
