Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize