wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
