what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize