dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
