I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
