Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You made out with two different species that night
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
