I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
