I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
