I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
