he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
