what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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