Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
