Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
