I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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