We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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