At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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