I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
