He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize