So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
