Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
