i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize