If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
