im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
bring money and cleavage
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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