Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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