I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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