i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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