Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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