just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
