At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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