giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
that may or may not have been my penis.
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