you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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