i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
