I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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