when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
