i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
