Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
