Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
