Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
