i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
