If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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