she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
