in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
