Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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