Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
