Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
