I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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