Nicole vs. Life
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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