thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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