remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize