My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he just fucked me for my cheese.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
