She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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