I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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