Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There's always time for handjobs
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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