Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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