Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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