you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He did a backflip because drugs
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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