Hippo gnu deer
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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