Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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