I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
