Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
